Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
Posted 3, March, 2013

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”

So I’ve been neglecting this for a while and I need to stick with what i said to improve my writing. From now on I will try to keep a weekly update of chapters of books and/or articles I am reading.

For the next couple weeks I will review chapters of “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The book suggests you briefly read through it once and re-read it again in depth, and hopefully the second time reading through this gives me enough insight to write about it.

It is human nature to criticize, condemn, and complain (3C from here on). The author illustrates many cases where people, from President Lincoln to the author himself, have done the 3C and gotten themselves in trouble. The author researched Abraham Lincoln’s life and shares few examples from Lincoln that most people do not know about. Earlier in Lincoln’s life he was known to be critical and ridiculed many people as a young lawyer. However, after a duel, that was stopped before it started, with a disgruntled victim he learned to refrain from the 3C. The lesson that these people learned was that the 3C does not get you anywhere and brings more trouble than resolutions. The author suggests that the next time we get the urge to do the 3C we should think about the issue from the other person’s point of view. When we are able to understand where our opponent comes from we can come up with much more effective solutions to the problem. Most of us, including myself, are quick to 3C. But once we learn to control our bad habit and utilize the opportunity to look at the problem from the other side we can learn much from it.

“What would Lincoln do if he were in my shoes? How would he solve this problem? -Theodore Roosevelt 

Reflecting on myself, I have made many blunders regarding this problem. I had been quick to 3C and did not take the time to try and understand the problem from the other person’s view until my early adult life. Even today I am still trying to fix this bad habit with gradual success. Personally, I have found that approaching the problem with the other person’s perspective in mind helps me see what they see and have a better response in the hopes of finding a resolution to the problem. This is a difficult task and sometimes I forget, but I try my best in fixing this problem.

Reblogged from mzqueenatea  139,803 notes
Posted 31, January, 2012
jeremyantonio: When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly,He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jarAnd proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students, if the jar was full.They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and pouredthem into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.The sand is everything else —The small stuff.‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life.If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,You will never have room for the things that are important to you.So…Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.Take your partner out to dinner.There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.‘Take care of the golf balls first —The things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled‘I’m glad you asked’.It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

jeremyantonio: When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else —The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled
‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’
Posted 28, September, 2011
Well, this will be my first sort of political blog post. The previous entries we’re just warm up, and so is this one, to get my writing groove back again. Started watching an interesting show, it’s called “Person of Interest”. The story goes that an inventor created a device that can sort through emails, phone calls, texts, and every other form of communication you can think of and pick out the bad guys. However, as you can imagine that is a lot of information that it must sort through so the device is only set to pick out the bad guys that are about to cause events that leads to massive loss of life. These major cases are sorted into the “relevant” list, the others are sorted into the “irrelevant” list. The creator of the device realized that this “irrelevant” list consisted of people that are some how related to crimes that are about to happen. His guilt was eating him from the inside so he decided to act on these “irrelevant” cases using his wealth and connections and along with a support from a former special ops soldier that was trying to drink himself to death. I recommend people watching it. This show brings up a very good point, how much do we want the government to protect us without sacrificing our privacy? Like the show brings up, after 9/11 the government gave itself the power to look into people’s lives without a warrant. Laws were signed in such as the Patriot’s Act, President’s Surveillance Program, and Dept. of HS was created. Within the span of a decade the U.S. government went from needing a court ordered warrant to check inside of someone’s bag to being able to look into every detail of your life without your consent or knowledge. This is why I like love George W. Bush. If there was anything he accomplished during his presidency it is this, giving the government the power it needs to secure itself. Yes, our national security is still being built up, as proved by Graham Allison’sNuclear Terrorism when he points out that it is still possible to sneak in a nuclear device onto U.S. soil, but it has come a long way ever since 9/11. Before 9/11 our national security was very flawed, the end of the cold war and fall of communism made the government relax considering there was no real major power threat so they planned on reducing funds to intelligence and defense budgets. What these idiot politicians, the ones thinking of reducing budgets related to the nation’s security, didn’t realize is that you don’t become this powerful of a nation and not make some enemies along the way. During the early years and throughout the cold war the United States conducted black ops to topple governments that favored them and these missions created some disgruntled enemies. These enemies laid low and waited to gain some strength, finances, and man power. In the early 70’s they started to pop up around the world in small blips through terrorist attacks. Year after year their activities became more sophisticated and dauntless, but the Cold War took the center stage until the early 90’s. The 1st major incident was the first bombing of the World Trade Center. The government took more of a notice towards terrorism, but still did not see it as a major threat. It wasn’t until the Oklahoma bombing, which wasn’t a foreign terrorist, did we realize that this country was under attack by a new enemy. The government stepped up its efforts to prevent attacks such as this, but lacked the power and tools to do so. The event of 9/11 gave reason for the government to have such power.  I am pro-government, meaning that I support the government having more control over the lives of its citizens to ensure their security and prosperity. However, a good amount of people would disagree with me. In which I can understand their position, they don’t want to be under constant scrutiny from the government. This point I can understand, but the part that baffles me is that these same people would scrutinize the government when such incidents like 9/11 happens and demand that the government do more to protect its citizens. Here’s the question, how much are people willing to sacrifice in order to be safe? In the past I believe that the general public set a ridiculously high standard for the amount it’s giving to the federal government. I believe the 9/11 incident proved as a good wake up call for the public and made them realize that they were not safe from these forms of terror attack as they thought they were. This fear of attack enabled overwhelming support for the law’s that Bush enacted right after the incident, which I thought was long overdue. Now with it’s new found powers the government is doing its best to play catch up on 40 years worth of work, that it should’ve started long before, and taking advantage of the tools to prevent tragedy striking again. The system is flawed, but the Swiss cheese like pores are slowly getting smaller.

Well, this will be my first sort of political blog post. The previous entries we’re just warm up, and so is this one, to get my writing groove back again.

Started watching an interesting show, it’s called “Person of Interest”. The story goes that an inventor created a device that can sort through emails, phone calls, texts, and every other form of communication you can think of and pick out the bad guys. However, as you can imagine that is a lot of information that it must sort through so the device is only set to pick out the bad guys that are about to cause events that leads to massive loss of life. These major cases are sorted into the “relevant” list, the others are sorted into the “irrelevant” list. The creator of the device realized that this “irrelevant” list consisted of people that are some how related to crimes that are about to happen. His guilt was eating him from the inside so he decided to act on these “irrelevant” cases using his wealth and connections and along with a support from a former special ops soldier that was trying to drink himself to death. I recommend people watching it.

This show brings up a very good point, how much do we want the government to protect us without sacrificing our privacy? Like the show brings up, after 9/11 the government gave itself the power to look into people’s lives without a warrant. Laws were signed in such as the Patriot’s Act, President’s Surveillance Program, and Dept. of HS was created. Within the span of a decade the U.S. government went from needing a court ordered warrant to check inside of someone’s bag to being able to look into every detail of your life without your consent or knowledge. This is why I like love George W. Bush. If there was anything he accomplished during his presidency it is this, giving the government the power it needs to secure itself. Yes, our national security is still being built up, as proved by Graham Allison’sNuclear Terrorism when he points out that it is still possible to sneak in a nuclear device onto U.S. soil, but it has come a long way ever since 9/11. Before 9/11 our national security was very flawed, the end of the cold war and fall of communism made the government relax considering there was no real major power threat so they planned on reducing funds to intelligence and defense budgets. What these idiot politicians, the ones thinking of reducing budgets related to the nation’s security, didn’t realize is that you don’t become this powerful of a nation and not make some enemies along the way. During the early years and throughout the cold war the United States conducted black ops to topple governments that favored them and these missions created some disgruntled enemies. These enemies laid low and waited to gain some strength, finances, and man power. In the early 70’s they started to pop up around the world in small blips through terrorist attacks. Year after year their activities became more sophisticated and dauntless, but the Cold War took the center stage until the early 90’s. The 1st major incident was the first bombing of the World Trade Center. The government took more of a notice towards terrorism, but still did not see it as a major threat. It wasn’t until the Oklahoma bombing, which wasn’t a foreign terrorist, did we realize that this country was under attack by a new enemy. The government stepped up its efforts to prevent attacks such as this, but lacked the power and tools to do so. The event of 9/11 gave reason for the government to have such power. 

I am pro-government, meaning that I support the government having more control over the lives of its citizens to ensure their security and prosperity. However, a good amount of people would disagree with me. In which I can understand their position, they don’t want to be under constant scrutiny from the government. This point I can understand, but the part that baffles me is that these same people would scrutinize the government when such incidents like 9/11 happens and demand that the government do more to protect its citizens. Here’s the question, how much are people willing to sacrifice in order to be safe? In the past I believe that the general public set a ridiculously high standard for the amount it’s giving to the federal government. I believe the 9/11 incident proved as a good wake up call for the public and made them realize that they were not safe from these forms of terror attack as they thought they were. This fear of attack enabled overwhelming support for the law’s that Bush enacted right after the incident, which I thought was long overdue. Now with it’s new found powers the government is doing its best to play catch up on 40 years worth of work, that it should’ve started long before, and taking advantage of the tools to prevent tragedy striking again. The system is flawed, but the Swiss cheese like pores are slowly getting smaller.

1 note
Posted 18, September, 2011

Feeling the past moving in, letting a new day begin

“People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it.”

A well said quote from Will Smith in “Pursuit of Happyness.”

There’s been a couple break ups around me within the last 2 months and the question people always ask me is, “Are you over Anna?” My response would be, “Yes.” Their next response would be, “That quick? You didn’t really like/love her then huh?” And this is where I give them the =_= face. However, this is an understandable response coming from someone that doesn’t really understand me. 

People make assumptions about other people when they can’t fill in the blanks. Me being me, I prefer not to talk so much about myself so I guess there are a lot of blanks that people try to fill in for me. I prefer to listen and observe other people because 1) I don’t give out too much of myself (defense mechanism?) 2) you can learn A LOT about people from listening and observing them. So my thought process is pretty unknown to most people, except a very close few.

Going back to the break up story. People always assume that I did not like/love my girl friends that much. This is NOT true by any means. First off, as stated above I am not the type of person to express my feelings much and for me to get the courage/effort/feelings asking out some girl is a big step. I REALLY have to like the girl to ask them out. I do not bother with superficial relationships because I see it as a complete waste of time. I’ve dated around because you get the benefits of a relationship, but you don’t have to commit and spend time if it is not convenient for me. So for me to have a girl friend, at the least I have to like her a great amount. So if this is the case, how do I get over my relationships quickly? People assume it’s a defense mechanism, maybe it could be, but at least from what I think of it it’s just the logical/right thing to do. There are 6.962 billion people in this world right now, out of that lets just say 47% of them are female (since China and India have a pretty effed ratio). There are 3.133 billion females, out of them 600 million of them are in our dating range. From this data I would like to ask, why be sad over 1 girl when there are 599,999,999 of them more out there? I love the cliche “she’s a one in a million” because according to the simple calculation I just did there’s another 599 of them somewhere in the world. Go out and find them!

Finally going back to the quote, just because people can not get over their depression and empty feelings they try to diminish my memories and feelings. I will not let that happen. Every moment I spent with my girl friends means something to me, whether it was good or bad, and I will not let some depressed debby downer to tarnish it. If you want to be depressed over your ex for weeks and month go do it by yourself, don’t drag everyone else into your depression. 

2 notes
Posted 14, September, 2011

Don’t waste now, precious time we’ll dance inside the song

So I watched “Love and Other Drugs” as part of my effort in broadening my horizons. It was actually a pretty good movie. I would say 90% of chickflick/romance movies out there are crap, but this is one of the 10% that I really enjoyed. Not only was it a good movie, but during the movie Anne Hathaway asked a good question that got me thinking. The question was, “tell me 4 good things about yourself.” Jake Gyllenhaal’s character couldn’t answer it on the spot and she responded by saying “You can’t even think about 4 good things about yourself.” I think I would’ve been in the same situation as Jake if it was 3~4years ago.

Self analyzing, it’s something that every person should do every once in a while. By doing this I believe it will help people understand a little bit of themselves. And I’m not talking about just taking 5min to think about what you did, I mean really take a hour or two to think, why you do things that way, what is the root of this choice, or what do I want from making this choice?

Throughout the early school years I was a lost soul, then in high school I met some really good friends that I felt I found my place with and that initiated my search for myself. Through interactions with them I very slowly started understanding who I was and what I am capable of and college provided me with an ample amount of experiences to help me understand myself. One thing I learned about myself is that my mind is like a sponge, always looking for new knowledge to soak in. That is why I never stuck with one group throughout college. Freshmen year I was with the girl’s hall (that was a VERY interesting learning experience), second year I joined a frat filled with people that were motivated to do something with their lives (which led to better grades and a better focus in school for myself), third year I met the party people and pretty much partied my heart out (learned social skills and had my first serious relationship, high school doesn’t count), fourth year I hung out with my fellow class mates and professors for Poli Sci and Japanese Lit (got me some letter of recs and interesting insights to future prospects), my final year I spent with my house mates.

Through my interactions with the above mentioned I was able to figure out my strength and weaknesses and figure out a way to better utilize it or over come them. So, to answer Anne’s question my 4 strengths are:

1) Strong will = I will not let anything stop me from my goals. I will get put down by people, fate would kick me in the balls, or plans would just fall apart. Doesn’t matter. The only thing I can do is get back up and keep going. I wasn’t always like this, actually I was the total opposite, but one day I really hit rock bottom and it was a dark dark place. Then it hit me, what’s the point? This is where part of my motto comes from, “I do not help people that do not help themselves.” I realized just being depressed and wanting pity will not get anything done and who in the world would want to help such a worthless person. Life is full of obstacles, I mean A LOT. It’s like job hunting. Over the span of 3 months I went through 9 interviews before I landed a job. I know some people that gave up just after two or three within 2 weeks. You just can’t give up because life keeps throwing you punches. You take it and keep hitting back.

2) Good morals = I will never cheat people on $ and <3. I REALLY despise people that are shady with money. That’s why politics disgusts me sometimes. Right now I would not mind 1/3 of the people influencing the world disappearing. Some people are just here for themselves and not for the good of humanity. I guess this is the idealist in me, I believe that the people in this world can live in peace and prosperity for all. However, there are just too many self centered, greedy people in the way from achieving that. And the sad truth is that the rest of the world falls for their traps in keeping us separate so they can profit from us using this hatred as a money making tool. I also have NO respect for cheaters. When you ask your significant other out or when you get married there is this code of oath. When you cheat on someone you basically throw away that oath and piss on it. My favorite to hear is that “I was wrong to cheat on you, I only love you please take me back.” Are you effing kidding me? If you loved them then you wouldn’t have cheated on them in the first place. You had a desire, whether it’d be true attraction or lust, and you took action on it. If you have that desire the least you can do is break it off before acting on it. Also, personally experiencing being cheated on I don’t think I can do it to another human being because I know how much it sucks. People that cheat because they were cheated on are effing IDIOTS that deserve to get cheated on again.

3) Willingness to take action and face consequences = This took me a while to figure out even though I’ve been doing it before I even realized I was doing it. When they say everyone can be a leader, it’s true. Anyone can take action in a situation and lead people, BUT the thing that scares off most people is the fact that they must face the consequences of their actions/choices. I think the quote “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” is totally on the dot. When you watch some evil deed being done and do nothing about it you are just enforcing the evil doers ego and confidence. I look up to those people that take action when girls are being harassed on crowded trains (Japan), save people that are getting mugged even though they might have a weapon,  or sacrificing themselves to save another. I hope I can be as brave as they are when I face the same situation. Going back to the initial points, I think I can say that I am willing to face the consequences for most actions/choices I make. I have faced some situations where I had to make some seriously unpopular choices, but I know it was the right thing to do. My thought on this is that, if I back down who is going to take my place in making the right choices? Luckily I have found some allies of good intended people and surround myself with them. I know I am not alone, but I need more help to make a huge change in this world.

4) Always learning = I didn’t realize this to be a strength until recently. The only reason I figured this one out was because of my Political Science major. Up until I took this major, plus adding my traveling experience, I realized what a small world I was living in. A lot of people live in ignorance to the outside world that is not their city. There is more to this world than this small town of LA. One of the important things to achieving the goals, slightly mentioned in section 3, is that you need to have understanding of people. How to do that? KEEP LEARNING! Every person you meet, every relationship you have, every place you visit, or anything new you meet is a learning experience. Don’t take it for granted. I think the best experience for me on this subject was when I traveled to Western Japan by myself. I stayed at hostels and visited shrines, temples, and tourist spots meeting other fellow travelers and hearing their life and travel stories. I learned a lot from that 4 days of ultimate loner status :]

I guess that’s a little inSYT (har har har) to me. I think this is the longest blog post I ever created. Dang thing took me two nights to complete. Special thanks to Yoyo and her music putting me in a trance stage and letting me write my mind out.

Later days~

Posted 25, August, 2011

I know who I want to take me home.

As a tall tallllllllllll girl, I’ve gone through a lotttttttt of ups and downs, self-conscious bouts. All and all, I think after 24 years, I’ve grown accustomed and for the most part accepting of where I stand. The worst years were probably first and second year of college, cried a lot, meeting certain people that made me feel the most self-conscious I’ve ever felt. Saying things like, “女人這麼高有什麼用, what good is height on a girl, what’s the use of tallness for a girl,” “can you stand farther away from me,” “can you never wear heels cause you’ll just scare everyone,” “no guys are going to talk to you.” That first line is pretty much forever ingrained in me, you piece of shit coworker. He was like 5’6”. I wish I was braver then to stand up for myself but you live and learn. 


Today’s topic will be on: why guys have a problem dating taller girls?

Now, it’s not like I do not understand why some guys will have a problem with this. For some guys they might feel inferior or emasculated. Another source of problem I can see is insecurity through, the girl getting more attention (if she is attractive) or the girl coming under pressure from people whispering why she would date someone shorter. 

Some guys because of their insecurity feel the need to bring down the girl, just like my friend that got me started on this post. Grow up. Breaking down from the pressure you get from the girl doesn’t mean you can take it out on her. Instead of seeing it as a threat you should take it in as a praise or a complement. If the girl is willing to take on the heat from the general public by going out with a shorter guy you must have done something right. How many couples do you see where the guy  is shorter than the girls, I would say rarely. If height is not your strong point you must have something whether it’d be: charms, humor, looks, etc… If you think this way it can act as an confidence boost, stand proudly next to your girl. If you can’t you need to go find someone shorter so someone else that appreciates how she looks can make her happy and comfortable for who she is.

Posted 24, August, 2011

Now I’m not much of an “awwwww” type of person, but this video is just too good. The song I love, but the video makes it perfect.

As the description from the creator states, “you just can’t help but smile when you watch this.” If there is such thing as love it’s what these two have. The type of interaction that makes you smile just watching. Why is it so hard? Humans have been searching for true love ever since they have existed, yet only a few percentage of us are able to obtain it. What prevents us from attaining this simple but magnificent goal?